Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I was doing so well this week...and then Bam!...I hit a wall.  Hubby and I got into a fight this was over nothing really, but we've been so emotional and stressed these past few months that I think it has all brimmed over to the surface....hubby's work and lots of stress there, grading finals, research and meetings near and far in the next few weeks, my lack of work, stupid training benefits that haven't gone through, my classes, what I'm going to do with my life, wanting to move, not being able to move because we would have to sell the house, and have a job, both of us having jobs would be nice, having a child, funding for having a child--big stress, all these unknowns and the stress of the everyday stuff is really getting to us....
I did get a call from a school district I worked for last year for an opening for the last two weeks of's not really ideal, I'm not certified to teach in this room (it's a sped position, I've subbed a half a dozen times in his room...but I just don't feel comfortable to be in there full time for two weeks.) There's a lot going on in that room and really the person who should fill that position should be certified in Special Ed.  Plus, I've already signed up for an English class that meets in the afternoon that would conflict with school hours.  Ugh, I really dislike that I'm treated as a disposable substitute and not even considered for a permanent position in their district--I really dislike feeling so useless!  Ugh!  I just want a classroom to teach in and a group of students to motivate, inspire and have fun learning with.  Is that really so much to ask for?!  I'm going to talk to hubby before making any final commitments one way or another, but I'm thinking that I may pass on this opportunity--I prob. should email the teacher (we're also neighbors so maybe I might try and run into him before I call them back) and get some more info...Update:   Talked to hubby…. I’ve decided to let the assist. Principal know I have decided not to take up his offer.  I need the class this summer for my language arts endorsement, which right now is the priority…the job will pay the same as U.E. which is pretty sad to even say, but I have to think of that right now, and the district is one that I feel is a dead-end to any future employment at the time…
Speaking of schools, I just found out that the school I spent two years of my life at, gave 150% of my efforts to only to be RIFed at the end of my second year, is letting another 4 teachers go at the end of this year.  Sadly, they are the ones I predicted would probably not last past this year; it was a prediction I was hoping to not come true.  But alas, the education situation is pretty dire. 
Enough of my complaining!!  It's a beautiful day today, I really shouldn't waste it! (But I did:() There's supposed to be a beautiful arboretum walking distance from here--I know my dog would be so happy if I took him for a walk through it. *I have the directions to it, so I think this will be tomorrow’s adventure*  I was feeling more energetic in the last few days--had some good workouts, been eating all vegetarian this week (Mon-Thurs).  I wish I just didn't feel so blah today--hopefully some bright flowers will cheer up my mood and lift my spirits. I get to get my hair done tomorrow…that always lifts my spirits—looking forward to that.  I know she is also struggling with getting pregnant, I think I would be happy if she said she was…she’s so tiny, it would be easy to see a bump:)…I’ve written a book…on to tomorrow….or today..depending on when I can post this (maintenance on site)!